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New experiences can be daunting, especially when it requires us to stretch ourselves and learn something new.

Recently, I had the opportunity to start delivering an accredited certificate in professional coaching practice to some experienced coaches. I felt the common feeling of stretch, discomfort, and self-doubt – just like many of the people on the course as they learned new techniques.

Reflecting on how I felt, reminded me of my own journey as a coach. I once thought that my learning journey would have a start and a finish, but I now know that the journey never truly ends. In fact, I’ve learned that the discomfort and challenges of the learning process are what make us stronger and better versions of ourselves.

I recall writing a final paper for my coaching degree, describing my learning journey as one of holding up a mirror, seeing myself, shattering that mirror, and being left with shards of glass. But now, I realize that those shattered pieces represented my learning, self-awareness, and development. They now form the most beautiful and original mosaic, reminding me to be kinder to myself and to accept what I stand for as a coach today and that I will continue to break my mirror, learn and grow.

So, to anyone starting something new, my advice is to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Embrace the challenges and the discomfort of the learning process, and let it make you a better version of yourself. Happy learning!

I am grateful for my family and friends, colleagues and clients. People who put their faith in me, as I put my faith in them.

In 2023, I will support the people I know and coach, by beating their drums when they have lost faith in themselves, cheering them on consistently and celebrating their successes.

I will continue to be kind, empathetic, and sympathetic to the needs of others whilst still asking those challenging coaching questions. The ones we’d prefer to ignore or avoid altogether.

Whether you need to collaborate on common goals, or in the case of this photo of me with two lovely friends crossing a river, which people will you surround yourself with in 2023 to ensure that you all succeed?

How will you help others in 2023 and what will your mantra be?

On 24th March 2020, a number of restrictions, like we had never experienced before in the U.K., were enforced on us. Need I remind you, that we were queuing to be allowed into supermarkets where certain products were rationed, ‘non-essential’ shops and venues were closed, and the amount of time spent out of our homes, whilst wearing surgical masks, was monitored. This was a life that we quickly became accustomed to, albeit that many of us did not accept it. Wearing masks, keeping our distance, and working from home became our new normal.

Many restrictions in the UK and across Europe have been lifted, and many of us are already enjoying time with family and friends, the ability to travel and getting out and about more freely.

For many others, however, this ‘return to what we once knew as normality’ has brought with it only anxiety and dread. Many people are scared. They are scared of; returning to the office, travelling on overcrowded public transport, visiting busy hairdressers and supermarkets and that people have ditched mask wearing for open gestures of affection. People are scared of what they can, and of what they can’t see.

It took us many months to find a rhythm during the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, and it may take some people many, many more months to return to their old ways. The pandemic has been hard and even positive change can lead to anxiety, as it takes time to readjust to things we have not done for a while. Feelings of anxiety are likely to pass with time as we get used to the “new normal” but it’s important to do what we can to take care of our mental health.

A recognised NHS therapy website, Every mind matters, offers the following 11 tips to manage feelings of anxiety and make it easier to adjust:

1. Go at your own pace

2. Do not avoid things entirely

3. Get your information from the right sources

4. Discuss any changes with others

5. Make time to relax

6. Challenge unhelpful thoughts

7. Tell someone how you feel

8. Plan social occasions

9. Find routine where you can

10. Write down your thoughts

11. Focus on the present

You may not be feeling anxious yourself, but I would encourage you to #BeKind, to empathise and be patient with others who may be experiencing life quite differently than you are.

Are there individuals that drain you of energy? You may feel exhausted after interacting with them. Certain people may make you feel extremely uncomfortable, and you may not understand why. Whilst your feelings and interpersonal relationships should not be confused with intuition, what is your sixth sense or gut feeling telling you about a situation?

As a coach, I have the benefit of choosing not to coach someone based on a lack of ‘rapport’. If I believe I cannot feel positive towards someone, there may be little that I can do for them, and it is probably best for them, and for me, that coaching does not commence. In situations like these, I also learn a lot about myself. Is it because they remind of someone, who I have experienced negatively? In cases like these, I may be transferring my own past negative energy to this new situation. We must be careful not to ‘muddy the water’ and confuse emotions with our feelings and intuition. https://counseling.online.wfu.edu/blog/difference-feelings-emotions/

So, what role does intuition play in business?

The Munich Business school reports that ‘intuition plays a great part in today’s world of business,’ with some going as far to say that managers rely entirely on concrete facts, such as Excel data, for example, whereas leaders are willing to decide intuitively in certain situations − even if this can entail a risk. https://www.munich-business-school.de/insights/en/2017/intuition-business-decisions/

The likes of Richard Branson, Steve Jobs, and Oprah Winfrey can’t all be wrong:

“I’ve trusted the still, small voice of intuition my entire life. And, the only time I’ve made mistakes is when I didn’t listen.” Oprah Winfrey.

“I rely far more on gut instinct than researching huge amounts of statistics.” Richard Branson

“Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly, want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs

Personally, I follow my intuition, but I am risk-averse, so for big decisions, I tend to back up my hunches with facts and figures. My intuition, however, hasn’t let me down yet.

Next time you’re in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable, or excited, perhaps you should slow yourself down, reflect on what’s happening and dare make an intuitive judgement.

We are measured on what we get done but how hard is it to succeed when other people, agendas and strategies get in your way?

Success is not linear. It’s erratic and may have periods of no progress. If you’re measuring your success by the things you get done, you may become disheartened and give up, when you’re not achieving your goals.

This photo reminded me of a tool, used by Marshall Goldsmith. On a scale of 10, did I do my best today to achieve …’fill in your goal here’.

In 2018, I used this simple tool to keep coachees on track to achieve their goals during a 3-month experiment, to find out how quickly people can change, given the speed at which companies need to change. 70.5% achieved their goals. Their success was a blend of:

Understanding where and how they were spending their time.

We only have 24 hours every day. Next time something ‘more important’ is about to take the place of an activity you’ve planned, you may want to rank how important the new task is compared to what you are willing to trade it for.

Having confidence in their own ability

Some days we’re just not at our best. Life gets in our way or we may be consumed by self-doubt. Mindset matters and recalling a time that you were extremely successful and how this made you feel can help boost your confidence. Mindset matters.

Being guided by someone

Whether it’s a family member, friend, manager or coach, find people who can guide and mentor you, challenge your assumptions, and offer you the tools necessary to succeed, hold you accountable and keep you on track of your goals.

The knowledge gained on their journey, was just as important as the result.

Some days even though you’ve done your best to achieve your goals, you will still feel like you’ve achieved nothing. Be aware when your desire to be excellent gets in the way of learning to be better.

‘Next time you want to beat yourself up for not doing something, be kind to yourself and ask, ‘Did I do my best today to do it’. It may be more helpful to measure how much you have tried, rather that how well you got done.

• The company my husband worked for stopped paying salaries for 9-months.
• It went into administration leaving him without a job.
• We had to move from our rented home.

This has been the story of many individuals over the past year and still continues to cause many individuals and families distress.

If anything, this pandemic has taught me a thing or two about resiliency. It has also highlighted just how lucky I am.

• We have a home in France that we could move to.
• I have a job, I love, which paid our expenses and Corndel showed enormous compassion and support throughout.
• My husband was offered a new role recently.
• We are moving back to the U.K.

For many that don’t ‘know us’, it sounded quite glamorous; fleeing covid-rife London to live the ‘high life’ in France. In their eyes, ‘we were living the dream’.

But, why do we quickly jump to conclusions, assuming how ‘good’ people have it; envying their ‘fabulous’ lifestyles and becoming empathetically numb, due to our preconceived notions of what they have, that we don’t?

Be curious, ask people how they are doing and how they ‘really’ are, because a picture doesn’t necessarily paint a thousand words.

PS. We are grateful and we are rich in more ways than money will ever be able to buy.