Is a lack of confidence sabotaging your dreams?

Whether it’s starting a business, meeting the person of your dreams or accelerating your career, you first need to believe that this is possible.

I have heard people blame social media, magazines, their partners, parents or bosses for their lack of confidence, however there’s no one more to blame, than ourselves.

The Collins dictionary defines self-doubt as “a lack of confidence in yourself and your abilities”. When we lack confidence, we are in fact just listening to our own negative, internal dialogue that we are incapable of doing what we have planned to do.

A simple technique to help you regain confidence in your abilities, is to:

    Think about a time, when you managed a situation extremely well.
    Describe, how you felt in this situation?
    Did you stand differently?
    Did you breathe differently?
    And, try to remember your frame of mind at the time.

Recalling this information as vividly as you can, can serve to remind you how it feels to be successful at any time, and ensure that you have positive, mental tools to visualise a repeat performance at any point in the future.

Remember that ‘when there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm’ (African proverb).

If you would like to improve your confidence, please contact me.

Is procrastination standing between you and success!?

This picture reminded me that our negative internal dialogue often paralyses us so much, that we fear taking even the first step in any new venture.

Research I completed last year, highlights that many individuals procrastinate because they fear that their work will not be good enough.

I often need to remind my clients that improvement and change happens in stages and with practice. Like training for a marathon, we run a little every day until we are fit enough to run the marathon. We just need to put on our running shoes, and go for that first short jog.

Take the first step. I dare you!

For more information about our transformative programmes, please send me an email.

What can we learn from our ‘baggage’?

How often have you heard someone refer to their past experiences, as ‘baggage’, e.g. an ex-spouse, partner, redundancy, debt, etc?

We can’t change the past, but we can change the way we deal with similar situations in future.

Becoming self-aware helps us to understand and break through our beliefs about past experiences, helping us to learn and grow.

Asking ourselves questions like ‘What happened?’ and ‘How could I have done things differently?’ is a simple way to start an internal dialogue.

I like to think of my past in a positive light. I wouldn’t be the person I am today, if it weren’t for all of my experiences; the good, the bad and the ugly. I have chosen to forgive and forget those things that do me a disservice and I use all of the experiences that serve me well.

What can you learn from your past?

Fight, Flight or Freeze?

I love change; whether it’s moving to another country, managing a challenging project, or learning a foreign language; but, when I was made redundant, I abandoned all sense of reason and froze.

Many experts have written about the amygdala and how it is responsible for emotions and survival instincts, and triggers our ‘fight, flight or freeze mechanism’. No matter how much individuals love change; myself included; they may react differently to change which is imposed upon them, than to change which they have planned.

To put this into context, we use the ventral striatum and the amygdala for judgment and decision making, calculating the reward or degree of threat of a situation. The prefrontal cortex, contains the historical context of a situation and regulates the response of the amygdala and ventral striatum, depending on the context of a situation.

Individuals often ‘freeze’ and find it difficult to make decisions, when they are faced with a situation for which they have no point of reference, so they may have no idea of how to react.

Having come through imposed change unscathed, and having coached many others through the same situation, I understand why my clients often fear change. They fear a distant memory of what has yet to come. So, whether an individual chooses ‘fight, flight, or freeze’, the emotions experienced during change can be traumatic and cannot be ignored.

Fortunately, our brains plasticity means that we have the ability to rewrite how we choose to remember past memories, which helps us to unlearn bad habits, discard our limiting beliefs and, focus on realising positive future outcomes.

To find out more about my practice, please visit: www.helenmartincoaching.com, send me a note, or click the Home tab.

Visualise to succeed

As a coach, I often ask my clients to visualise what they want to achieve in their minds-eye, and to think about how they will feel when they have achieved it.

I then ask them to think about the incremental steps that they will need to take each day to reach that goal. By breaking a goal up into bite-sized chunks, it becomes easier to attain.

This practice can be compared to a business that creates a strategy and breaks that strategy into the tactical steps it needs to take, in order to reach its goal.

How do you (and your team) practice visualisation and achieving your goals?

During a 90-minute one-on-one coaching session, or a half day workshop with you and your team, I can help you regain focus to achieve your goals.

Contact me!

5 ways to improve your life in 2018

Here are a few of my own simple tips to improve your outlook on life. How will you be living your life in 2018?

1. Worry less and reflect more.

Look at any problem as an objective bystander, and ask yourself:

What went well or not so well?

How it made you feel?

What you could have done differently?

What you learned from the experience?

Then move on in your mind and do not brood on the issue.

2. Love yourself as you are.

Add a ‘Hello gorgeous’ to yourself every morning, when you look in the mirror.

3. Accept people as they are.

You cannot change other people, but each little change that you make, may extract a different reaction from other people.

4. Be grateful.

You may already have a lot more than most. Be thankful.

5. Visualise….visualise….visualise.

The skies the limit. You can achieve anything you truly desire; work diligently towards any goal and visualise what the end goal looks and feels like will help you get there!

Wishing you all a healthy, happy and prosperous new year.

Helen

If anything in this article has piqued your interest, please contact me.

Helen Martin is a qualified coach and trainer and lives in London. She is a member of the Association for Coaching and coaches individuals through change. She can be contacted here.

8 questions to ask yourself before you switch jobs

Questions

The end of the year is looming and you may be thinking about your next career move. But, how do you choose between ‘good’ and ‘good’, when you receive two ‘similar’ job offers? Will you be wooed by a larger package or a more senior job title?

The Job. Ask yourself:

  1. What do you love about your current role? Are these tasks even listed on the job description? To find out how to accelerate your career by determining your sweet spot click here.
  2. Will you have visibility to senior leaders to be recognized for your work or to learn from them?
  3. What is the new role offering you that’s new? How will it challenge you; if at all?

The People and Company. Once you’ve been for an interview, ask yourself:

  1. What do you like or dislike about the people who work at the new company? Remember they will not change for you!
  2. Could these people be overselling the job and the company, to lure you to work for them? You can often find information online about companies and what it is really like to work there e.g. Glassdoor.
  3. Are the company values aligned to your own?
  4. Are there opportunities to grow and develop; to study?
  5. Where is the company located? Will your travel time be acceptable?

Whatever you decide, remember that the job title, salary and benefits package are just the start. Don’t be wooed too quickly. Take everything into consideration and if it doesn’t feel right, listen to your instincts and carry on searching.

Good Luck!
Helen

If anything in this article has piqued your interest, please contact me.
Helen Martin is a qualified coach and trainer and lives in London. She is a member of the Association for Coaching and coaches individuals through change. She can be contacted here.