Author: Helen Martin
I am a qualified leadership coach, trainer and change consultant. My blog is designed to help others to help themselves.
Pride comes before a fall
Last year I blogged about change and how it’s often the most difficult thing for human beings to go through and late last year I wrote about changing my life and the many things I had changed on the way.
Following ideas with a passion may seem so easy when you start out on your journey, but what do you do when you realise you’re not on the right track, you’ve made some unwise decisions, that you may very well be wrong and the ideas you so passionately embraced are unsustainable. You say you’re wrong of course, or do you? The problem for many is that the second most difficult thing to do, is admitting defeat.
Last week I had the pleasure of meeting with a charity I love and supported whilst living in Europe. A charity with a successful concept, great success in Europe and one which they have already rolled out in Hong Kong. The question that the Hong Kong-based arm of the charity had, was why their European success story was not working as successfully in Asia?
After spending an hour walking through business plans, target audience, added value, profitability, etc, we realised a couple of things were different. The charity had not built the network in Asia that they had in Europe and they had become so focused on doing good in the community, that they’d forgotten how to run a profitable business. The charity is now taking some relatively easy steps to ensure a sustainable business model. The first step however was admitting that something was ‘broken’.
What do we do when the passion we had for ideas, people, places or things, wanes? It’s what we do with this knowledge that’s so important. Do we continue arrogantly, holding onto our old ideals, or do we swallow our pride, knowing that ultimately ‘Pride comes before a fall’. Whilst on the surface, it seems that pride doesn’t necessarily hinder success, I maintain that pride is every bit as destructive to anyone’s welfare as the the ancient proverb forewarns.
Strengthening the inner-metal in 2012
2012 was a year of many changes. A change of country, career and way of life. I handed in Holland for Hong Kong, Deloitte for Cisco and my husband for a life on my own.
My husband is one of the nicest people I know, Holland is a magnificent country and Deloitte is a fantastic employer, so why so many changes?
Many people may call it the ‘change of life’ or ‘menopause’. I say, ‘A change is a way of strengthening the inner-metal!’ I’ve often coached people and told them that in happiness, one has to start with ones self.’ If you are happy, you can make many more people happy around you. Sometimes change brings with it necessary challenges, feelings of discomfort which pushes one to the edge and all the way over. However, sometimes living in a total state of contentment is just too safe. Am I a horrible person for creating so much havoc? For some, I probably am. And for others, I’m an absolute hero. They say things like, ‘You’re so brave’, ‘Gosh, I wish I were so strong’, ‘I’m so unhappy but I daren’t make the decisions that you have’. Do I feel brave? Of course not! I cry often and wonder what I’ve done. Am I happy? Yes. I can honestly report that I’m happier with the prospects than I’ve been in a very long time. Am I challenged? Every day! And, I love it.
For me, 2013 will be a year of settling down, regaining balance and equilibrium, making even more new friends and very happily seeing old friends in my new home of Hong Kong. I’ll be involved with new charities, as well as the ones I’ve grown to love and support, new clubs and networks, making the people and the company I work for even more successful, and I’ll be as happy as can be, because I believe in me. 2013 I embrace you!
Here’s wishing you and yours an exhilirating new year, with as many changes as you can handle. Happy New Year!
Storm in a Teacup
I’ve been in Hong Kong for just over two months and I’ve already weathered quite a few storms. T3’s become T8’s and if you’re unlucky, they become T10’s like Typhoon Vicente, which hit us last month and with a force unknown since 1999. Last night, I lived through the latest typhoon. Whilst I realise that I’m known for stirring things up a bit, I don’t know whether to be flattered or not; the latest typhoon is named after me, Kai-tak (Helen). When a T8 is hoisted, the city can easily ‘close down’. There may be no public transport, schools close, the public is advised to stay indoors or at home and businesses remain firmly shut. When you’re sitting in the comfort of your own home, oblivious to the elements however, it all just seems like ‘a storm in a teacup’.
CSR and doing good is something I’m passionate about and let me assure you, that there’s a lot more good out there than you’d ever imagine. Whether it’s the work of individuals, small organisations or large multinationals, people are joining forces to make waves and improve life experiences. I’ve now been working at Cisco in Hong Kong for about 6 weeks and I’m starting to settle in. Yesterday, I had an inspiring conversation with our head of corporate affairs in Greater China, TC Hsi. TC shared what Cisco is doing around CSR and quite honestly I’m blown away. Besides all the Cisco volunteers doing great work in the community and the focus and determination of the corporate teams, I was pleasantly surprised to hear how Cisco is using its own technology to help disaster victims weather the storm.
When a major emergency such as an earthquake or hurricane strikes, response organizations require immediate communications support to save lives, establish relief operations and provide ongoing assistance in affected communities. Cisco’s Tactical Operations (TacOps) team can quickly deploy IP-based communications to support emergencies. This team comprises expert networking, radio communications, and systems engineers along with logistics and operations coordinators. Members of the team and the employee-volunteer Disaster Incident Response Team (DIRT) are trained in the U.S. National Incident Management System (NIMS) and Incident Command System (ICS) and they participate in large-scale exercises to validate technology solutions and train alongside other responders.
Our world is changing. Our climate is changing and many more natural disasters are forecast in the coming years than we’ve ever had before. This is a fact and no ‘storm in a teacup’. So, whilst I’m currently safe and well and settling in to a new home and a new job, it’s comforting to know that my new employer can help when it’s really necessary. Cisco, you make me proud!
Never Assume
Brands that we know and admire, light the skies and the tops of buildings around the world. When designers roll out the latest trends, whether we live in Sydney, Hong Kong or San Francisco, we’re all wearing the same great new looks within months of one another. Restaurant chains offer internationally acclaimed dining concepts and large multinationals and financial institutions offer international services. So, it’s safe to say that the world is becoming flatter every day and we’ve come to expect the same quality and breadth of services, food and experiences no matter where we are in the world.
Many years ago someone told me that I should never assume, as it makes an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’. Common sense really! However, you’d be surprised how many times we assume things every single day. I was reminded of this fact just the other week when I transferred money from my European bank account to my Hong Kong bank account. I hadn’t yet activated internet banking, so I went to the ATM daily to see if the funds had been transferred. Everyday, I became more and more frustrated since my bank balance hadn’t increased a penny. I assumed that the money would automatically be deposited into my savings account. Never assume. On calling customer services, I heard that the money had, in fact, been deposited, quite quickly, into a suspense account. The bank wanted to leave it up to me when to transfer the money to my savings account, based on the best rate of exchange. Logical really, but not so, when you’re expecting something else to happen.
Hong Kong is a bustling city and those brand names could fool us into thinking that the world is identical, no matter where we are in the world. Luxury brands line the streets of Hong Kong and extreme wealth and consumer optimism, gloss over many of this beautiful city’s problems which are left undiscussed and well-disguised. A week ago, I met Liz Chamberlain, director of the Samaritans. Samaritans is an organisation providing emotional support to people who are suicidal, or in general distress. As a European, one may assume that if you have a problem, that you discuss it with family or friends in the spirit of ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’. Not every culture is the same, so never assume. Many Chinese will not discuss issues with family or friends and they are then left to their own devices. Liz and her team are doing a sterling job to ensure that people in need are helped and in doing so reducing the numbers of suicides in Hong Kong. The Samaritans is always looking for great people who will give up some of their time to volunteer. Or you can donate to this worthy cause.
My move to Hong Kong has once again reinforced the fact that I have a lot to learn. Ask more questions and never assume!
The Art of Integration
When I told people that I was moving to Hong Kong, they asked, “For how long?” I fully recognise that when business people move to foreign shores, that they often do so as expatriates and for a specified or unspecified period of time. Very often these same people do little to fit in. They continue buying their groceries from international brands, they eat in Western restaurants, they don’t learn much of the local language or culture and perhaps do nothing to befriend local people.
When you immigrate as a child, you are forced to fit in i.e. if you’re fortunate enough to be sent to a local school and not an international one. You soon make friends, learn a second language, learn a lot about local culture and feel very much at home. As an adult my move to the Netherlands was also pain free. I immediately started a Dutch language course and I avoided becoming a member of a British or South African Women’s Association. Through work, I soon became acquainted with Dutch nationals, who still remain friends today.
With immigration, comes integration, or so I believe anyway. I prefer referring to myself as a ‘localised immigrant.’ Beyond professional networking associations, I actually try to avoid groups which may ostracize me from meeting local people. But, I was fortunate! A wonderful Chinese lady reached out to me through Linked-in (prior to my move) after I had posted an update which had inspired her. Neither of us, generally speaking, reach out to strangers through Linked-in, but we agreed that our professional backgrounds and ideals lent themselves to further investigation. When we met recently in Hong Kong, it was as if we had been friends forever. We attended a couple of courses together at the Hong Kong University, during which I have met three of her friends, and we all just know that we’ll be friends for a very long time. Was this just luck? Or, do you attract the people that you need in your life? Or, is it just so obvious, that if you attend activities that you’re interested in, you’re bound to meet like-minded people i.e. as long as you’re open to meeting other people. Remember, you are the visitor to the country and the locals don’t need to change for you. Would it surprise you to hear that we all have an interest in CSR? I guess not!
This evening we had a fantastic meal in a place that I probably wouldn’t have dared go to on my own, just because I don’t speak Cantonese yet. I say yet, because that’s my next mission; to study the language and to be able to have conversation; no matter how badly I pronounce the words. This evening, I was also christened again as these lovely ladies took the time to discuss what my Cantonese/Mandarin name should be. More on that next time.
Our next step is to meet regularly in each other’s homes, which is entirely unusual for Hong Kong. Homes are small and people generally don’t invite strangers to visit. But, we all believe that if we cook for each other, we will get to know one another better and we can use the time to discuss important personal, CSR and business-related issues.
So, how long will I be living and working in Hong Kong? Perhaps I’ll answer that question with “how high is up?” I don’t know? But given the fun I’m having, the number of friends I’ve already made and my fantastic new job at Cisco Systems, it could be for a very long time!
Happy farewells
When I was 8 years old, my parents packed up their belongings and their two children and we travelled what seemed for days, from Scotland to South Africa. Tears were shed and gifts were shared and and you knew that the only form of communication that you would have with your family, would be airmail letters which, would arrive 14 – 21 days after they were written.
20 years ago, the process hadn’t improved much at all. I kissed my parents and friends goodbye, I received many lovely gifts and I travelled from South Africa to Holland, knowing that cards and letters would arrive perhaps a little quicker…..but only just a little and I’d have to pay astronomical costs for long distance telephone calls.
Receiving a farewell gift is always an amazing treat; friends who you’ve known for a lifetime coming from afar to celebrate, a delicious box of Belgian chocolates, a bottle of French champagne, a book, sweet perfume or that beautiful personal gift, specifically chosen with you in mind or which has been in the family for many many years and has now been given to you. The pain of saying farewell is softened by the receipt of something to remember someone by.
But these days, farewells aren’t really farewells at all. Yes, you may miss seeing someone face-to-face however, Linked-in, Facebook and Twitter have become our very large virtual kitchen table, where we continue to ‘meet’ friends for coffee and a chat. Skype means that we can look people in the eye when we talk to them and excessive long distance telephone costs are something of the past.
I hope I don’t sound ungrateful, when I say that farewell gifts should no longer be necessary. Having said that however, I’m glad that farewell gifts still exist, as the best farewell gifts of all are those you ask your friends to give, knowing that a charity will be the benefactor. I was given a full page advertisement, in the business magazine Management Scope, for the charity of my choice. I hope that Orange Babies will be happy with this gift. And, my Brand, Communications and CSR team members at Deloitte contacted Hope Village in Namibia to find out what support they require and surprised me with the result; they are collecting for a school bus.
The pain of saying farewell has been softened by knowing that Deloitte, my colleagues and my friends have donated to very worthy causes. Now that’s what I call a happy farewell. Thank you so very very much everyone. Hong Kong, here I come!
Living your dream
We’ve all done it at some stage; whether it’s sitting quietly on a park bench, lying on a beach, or during your lunchbreak; Dreaming. Let’s face it, there’s nothing nicer. You can be whoever, wherever or whatever you’d like to be. Dreaming about winning the lottery, moving home, immigrating, driving that new sports car or moving jobs.
I live life by my own motto, “As soon as you start living your dreams, your dreams evolve.”
You can achieve anything you want. I regularly advise people to allow themselves to dream but also to set their sights realistically, “If you can visualise it and write it down, you can make it happen.” Too many people talk about their dreams but, they never achieve them. It may be because they’ve forgotten that fulfilling a dream also takes some required action. “I’ve never won the lottery,” but, you could ask, “Have you ever bought a ticket?”
There are no half measures. I believe in constantly pushing boundaries. Raising the bar. Pushing the envelope. Exceeding everyone’s expectations but most of all exceeding my own. I believe in living life to the full. Life is not a dress rehearsal. We don’t get second chances to do it over again. We need to create opportunities to realize our dreams.
This month I resigned from a company that’s been very good to me. Deloitte in the Netherlands has given me the freedom to achieve many of my dreams and many, many more. There will be people and places that I’ll miss; local charities that I’ll follow on twitter; and, I’ll leave my ‘baby’, Fair Chance Foundation, behind in the competent hands of Anne-Marie de Jeu and Mireille Spapens. Will I miss it all? I certainly hope so! But, one doesn’t give up near perfection for nothing 😉
I once had a dream about living and working in Hong Kong. I’ve been offered a terrific position in Hong Kong and I’ll be moving there next month………..I do hope you’ll continue following my personal and philanthropic antics but, this time, from Asia. Watch this space! 🙂
Putting your network to good use
Have you ever counted how many family members, friends, acquaintances or business relationships you have? No, neither have I. But, if I rely on Linked in and Facebook, I know in excess of 1000 people and, I have a reach in excess of 14000 people.
Knowing each of these individuals has absolutely no benefit however, it’s what I do with this network of people that can make all the difference. How often do you connect people in your network to one another? And, how can you put your network to good use?
Last week I attended a Child and Youth Finance International event in Amsterdam. The first of many to come. Founder, Jeroo Billimoria, is a woman on a mission who makes things happen and someone who bangs on doors and makes her network, work for her. This event was attended by hundreds of business people, NGOs and individuals from around the globe. I met some very interesting people doing some exceptional work; Development initiatives network in Nigeria and Unicef in Nepal. People from organisations that need help in order to help others. Working for a global organisation has its benefits, so I immediately connected my Deloitte colleagues in India and Nigeria to the NGOs that I had met, in the hope that benefit will be found.
You can start closer to home though. A friend, Marianne Sassen, recently started her own company in the Netherlands, Marianne Communiceert. She consults businesses in communication strategy and translating this strategy to successful business activities. She realised that many local NGOs don’t have the financial resources to use a consultant, so she hooked up with a filmmaker, Tafelberg Films, to offer a day’s free communication advice and the production of a promotional film to a charitable organisation that takes the time to upload their business plan to their website, Operatie Spotlight. One, very lucky charity in the Netherlands will ‘win’ some free consulting work. A worthy activity, close to home, which I could immediately tweet and upload to my linked in profile. I know many charities that would be thrilled to receive this free advice.
Putting our networks to good use is therefore easier than you’d imagine. Think as local, regional or as global as your network will take you and remember, that a little (for you) can go a very long way for someone else.
What is this life without a dream?
What is this life without a dream?
Without a vision for tomorrow
Of peace, love and prosperity
A life without sorrow
Will we ever understand?
Why in our growing population
Crime and violence still grow
Weakening our nation
Do we really hope to see a massive change
In all the things around
When we do nothing to solve
All the suffering that abounds
What can we do to make a change?
What will the outcome be?
If all the people that we know
Would take just some time to see
That every little bit of help
That alleviates some pain
Of all those people in our world
Is to everyone’s gain
Too many people in our world die
Of starvation and abuse
And disease can be prevented
If we put our resources to good use
So, if everybody learns to give
A little here and now
It all will make a difference
To someone, somewhere, somehow!
Wise words from my father, Andrew Gardiner. Thanks Dad!
HELEN MARTIN BLOG 